Puer Aeternus

I had another epiphany today. It was a simple and humble epiphany in which I finally figured out how to curl my hair. Most epiphanies I have are very provocative and motivating but usually end up taking me no where. Like revving up your car only to run into another brick wall and all of a sudden you need to get another shitty car to run into another wall. By now I'm very sure no insurance company is gonna give me coverage. But I don't need it.

The more I think about it the less I feel I need others to cover me when I'm down or to lift me up when I'm happy. I've drawn most of my energies from self-contemplation and meditation, which don't really involve others. Don't get me wrong, I'm no loner, I love spending time with others, but when it comes to spiritual fulfillment I feel the self is best.

Yet despite all of these ideas and revelations that I can find happiness in my own solitude, I feel as if my tires are still spinning and I'm getting no where. I don't work hard like I should. I suffer from Puer Aeternus.

My 2 years of Latin have taught me a few things, and I can tell you Puer Aeternus means eternal boy. Think of Peter Pan, think of Tuck Everlasting, think of yourself.

"As soon as I get out of high school, my life will start"

"I can't wait to get into the real world"

"Someday everything will fall into place"

If you're thinking these, you're thinking puer aeternus. The concept that life won't really begin, it hasn't really begun, is so dangerous. As high schoolers there might not be any greater plague than this because it creates a disconnect between our life and our dreams. Instead of "My good grades will get me into college" we should be thinking, "My life experiences are important". It's not about what we do today to make tomorrow better, it's about what we do now to make today better.

If everything we do and everything we think is a great fantasy of when we will become what we're meant to, we'll never become what we're meant to. We'll be stuck on Neverland our entire lives.

How can we escape?

Well, it depends. I plan to start doing more things for the now. Things that will not only help my future plans, but also improve myself today. I need to become the best I can and it can't wait until the day I graduate, the day I get a job, the day I get married. Today is the day I am the best I can be.

"Today we're younger than we ever gonna be"

"Oh Captain, my Captain"

“A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering.”